While we are all human and run the gamut of emotions and make mistakes, I believe a good person is a person who chooses to do things out of love and kindness and respect versus out of other base emotions.
Kindness is free.
Absolutely. But not in the way portrayed in film and fairytales.
I think true connections can be felt in a glance, in a kiss, in a touch. There’s a spark that transcends and beckons to be explored more.
I also think love at first sight is not just romantic, and that friends can experience love at first sight as well.
This ties in well with the last question. I don’t believe in soulmates as portrayed in film or fairytale.
As someone who identifies as polyamorous, I believe that we have the opportunity to form strong bonds with multiple people throughout our lives, and one connection does not diminish the next or the previous. I am a firm believer that friends can also be soulmates as well. Soul brothers and sisters. Individuals with energies that harmonize so well with one another.
Yes and no.
I believe you can be oblivious to what is meant for you if you have your focus on the wrong things.
It’s much like The Secret… the energy you put out is the energy you get back, so if you are constantly surrounding yourself with the wrong energy, you’ll only attract more and might miss out on opportunities that would have been presented if you had surrounded yourself with positivity.
1 Corinthians 16:14
“Let all you do be done in love.”
It means if your decision to do something is based out of any reaction other than love—like anger, jealousy, spite, greed, etc.—than it’s the wrong response. Choose the one that comes from a place of love.
Honesty. Always. No exceptions.
There are ways to deliver truths that are better and kinder than others, however.
If you’re speaking about losing them because of death, then far too many to list here, unfortunately.
Being gay is a hard road to travel—and with it comes a lot of societal pushback of the world telling you that you are an abomination. That doesn’t digest well, and eventually some start to believe it. Most of the friends I have lost have been because of this, from suicide or substance abuse (aka slow suicide).
Yes. Everyone should be.
If you’re not already, watch the movie 7 Pounds with Will Smith.
Energy doesn’t disappear. It’s recycled. I think our spiritual energy can linger for a bit; I think other’s energies get trapped for a while. But eventually it is recycled and becomes something new.
Absolutely.
With respect and acknowledgement of their side so long as it’s not a side weighted heavy with hate and vitriol. I have no place in my life with that, so if THEY show me disrespect for not sharing their opinion, I usually cut them out of my life pretty quickly. Life’s too short to hang onto negative energy, and that included people.
I grew up in a haunted house in Maine. It was an old dairy farm haunted by the ghost of a dairy maid who was killed by the dairy farmer when she wanted to reveal their affair to the dairy farmer’s wife.
Her name was Sarah Jane Cunningham, and she was supposedly killed with an axe between the eyes and buried in the cellar of the main house.
I am afraid of malevolent spirits and have encountered a few.
My first trip to Europe. It was also my first major trip with my husband—before he was my husband—and was a huge catalyst in my decision to propose to him.
The initial purpose of the trip was to attend World Pride 2017 in Madrid, Spain, but we flew into Paris a few days before to spend my husband’s birthday there—and so that he could show me the country of my heritage while we were across the pond.
Without realized it when we first booked, we happened to land in Paris during Paris Pride. and instead of standing and watching the parade, we were pulled into the parade by a few people and ended up walking most of the parade route. It was an unforgettable experience.
After Paris, we flew to Barcelona for 2 days and one night, where I had some of the best paella I’ve ever had in this little restaurant off Las Ramblas. I also drank from the fountain, which has a plaque on it saying that all who take a drink from the fountain are destined to return to the city. Though I haven’t yet, I definitely want to return and spend some more time there exploring the city, hopefully getting a chance to tour the inside of La Sagrada Familia Basilica next time around.
We took a train from Barcelona to Madrid a day before World Pride started; our Airbnb was located near La Puerta de Atocha, the city’s main railway station, and only a stop away from Chueca, the city’s notable gay neighborhoof.
The World Pride Festivities were epic, and definitely an unforgettable experience. Before the trip, we had talks about keeping an open mind—European men definitely had a more open and fluid outlook on relationships and sex—and although we didn’t have an open relationship while we were there, we opened our relationship not too shortly after we got engaged a little over a month later.
After World Pride festivities completed, we (my hubby and two of our friends) took a bus to Porto, Portugal, spending two days and one night there before renting a car and driving all over Portugal—we visited Nazaré, Fatima (site of the miracle), Coimbra, and Obidos (where our friend Javier had arranged a stay at a resort owned by one of his clients, completely free of charge)—before ending the Portugal leg of our trip in Lisboa.
From Lisboa, we flew back to Paris for another day and night before returning home. The whole trip was magical from start to finish, and although I’ve had some amazing trips since—Brazil in 2018 & 2019, Tomorrowland in 2019 (this trip is actually an extremely close second in the running)—that first European trip solidified my feelings for my husband in a way that neither one of us expected.
If by this question you mean escorting, then the reason is for the money; as selfish as that sounds, it was the initial reason I started doing this and justified putting a potential strain on my relationship.
Since I started doing it about 10 months ago, I have received a lot fulfillment helping others because it’s not just about what most think it is. There are so many facets to the industry that people taint by grouping it into one since tabooed aspect.
I am inspired by any individual who has gone through any sort of trauma and has taken the necessary steps on the to healing. By any individual who realizes that we are not the sum of our mistakes, but rather the result of the lessons learned from them.
In 2014, encouraged by a friend and fellow author, I decided to turn my reading and writing blog into a publishing company, and I put out a submission call for authors to submit their short stories.
The anthology, titled Twice Upon A Time, was a collection of Fairytale, Folklore, and Mythology retellings and re-imaginings.
An empire and a legacy… I hope.
Finances.
I think this question has an obvious answer: writing, of course.
But I also wish that I had the time to spend more quality time with my husband and our friends.
Appointments—and the need for money in order to cover bills—often has me away from home quite a bit, unfortunately. And the lack of money has prevented us from certain opportunities to do stuff with friends as well.
Well, up until the end of last year, it was the desire to start writing again, but in November 2023, I ended my almost 8 year hiatus and re-launched my website and started plotting out the series that I am currently working on.
When I was around 7, I told my mom that I wanted to be a writer.
As I went through schooling, I was told by various people that I should pursue a career that would make me more money, so I started telling everyone that I wanted to be a lawyer.
When I spoke with my cousin, who is a lawyer, and told her I wanted to become a lawyer as well, she told me that I should consider pursuing my passion.
I decided to revert to my statement I told my mom when I was 7 and become a writer.
Perhaps too many to name — I really want to visit Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Czechia, Croatia, Turkey, & Greece, but I also want to go visit more of France beyond Paris (the Loire Valley; Normandy—especially Tourouvre, where my family hails from; and the French Riviera).
I would also love to see Peru, Argentina, and Patagonia.
I had several things that I enjoyed doing…
A few things, actually:
Love is not something you should have to win like a prize. If it’s not given without conditions, it’s not love, it’s manipulation.
I spent 14 years trying to prove my love to someone who never viewed it as enough, so withheld his emotions and affection from me. Never again.
I have also learned that the past cannot be changed, so it does nothing to dwell upon and rehash it. Move on and learn from mistakes—you are liable to make more mistakes while moving forward if you are staring in the rearview versus out of the windshield toward the road ahead.
My husband and I spend a great deal of time with his family, but unfortunately, due to the distance, I don’t see my family that much.
We do have a family group of friends here in Tampa and even a small family unit of friends in Atlanta, where we relocated from, that we spend a good amount of time with.
I do have a pretty large family as it is, especially on my father’s side.
If anything, I just wish my family were closer geographically, but not enough to suffer the cold of Maine to be near them.
Huge mama’s boy here—definitely her.
I have, actually.
Confer with the 1st Question of the RANDOM tab.
My sister stopped talking with me right before my wedding in 2020—I made a post that I was incredibly sad that none of my family could make it to my wedding, and she took personal offense to it and blocked me everywhere.
Her loss. But I do wish she would show a bit more maturity, especially since she’s the older one.
I answered this in a previous question, but my cousin told me to pursue my passion versus chasing a career solely on the prospect of it making me money.
This endeavor. LOL
Though some maybe not so surprised.
I confide in my mother a lot, but I don’t tell her everything.
My “nephew” (my oldest stepsister’s son, who is technically not my stepsister by law since our parents split almost 22 years ago) probably knows the most of my life currently because he turned to me for help when he was coming out to his parents and we’ve since grown close.
I’ve unfortunately learned the hard way that sharing blood with someone does not give them an unspoken presence in your life. I feel the family is extremely important, but you’re not obligated to allow them in your life if they are not there out of kindness and respect.
My maternal grandfather bullied the entire family throughout my life, and I was often the recipient of a lot of his taunts. He and I have never gotten along; while I will always initially respect my elders, I also believe that respect should also ALWAYS be earned. And my grandfather had respect for no one.
Friends are chosen family, those with whom you share bonds that are most time stronger than blood.
Many times. But I am also polyamorous. I love deeply and give a lot of myself to others. I’ve experienced what love at its core is from many different people. I’ve also experienced untrue, conditional love and at the time wasn’t the wiser.
I now know how to spot the difference.
Inability to communicate with honesty, love, respect, and grace.
If someone is unable to have a mature conversation about feelings, it’s a red flag.
Someone who is against me: meaning we don’t share the same political beliefs, world beliefs, spiritual beliefs; I’d find it difficult to share space with someone who doesn’t have the same energy/vibes.
Someone who is mean to others is a HUGE dealbreaker.
If you’re speaking about losing them because of death, then far too many to list here, unfortunately.
Being gay is a hard road to travel—and with it comes a lot of societal pushback of the world telling you that you are an abomination. That doesn’t digest well, and eventually some start to believe it. Most of the friends I have lost have been because of this, from suicide or substance abuse (aka slow suicide).
Food. I love cooking. And I am pretty affectionate in general.
My hubby, of course.
I have already chosen to make less money doing something that brings me joy—working for myself—than suffering the pitfalls of corporate America.
Teleportation is top on that list, so the only thing that would need to change is the invention of the technology to do so.
I haven’t seen my mom since Thanksgiving of 2019 due to the lack of funds for plane tickets, and the amount of time it takes to get to Maine to visit her would seriously hurt my finances, so I have held off.
The ability to teleport to her in an instant would allow me to check in with her as though she lived next door—holidays, family dinners, a game night, all things I miss being able to do with my mom.
The ability to do that with many friends I haven’t seen in quite some time would be awesome.
Well, I have actually taught before.
During my senior year of high school, my math teacher had to have eye surgery and was out of commission for two weeks; I was on her Championship Math Team, and I had a free period at the same time as her Calculus I class, so she asked me if I could teach it so that her students didn’t fall behind.
While it was rewarding, I realized then that I couldn’t be a teacher—at least not in the traditional sense. It did inspire me to start 1-on-1 tutoring during that free period, so I was able to make some extra cash.
These days, the only teaching I do comes with this endeavor. Some of the clients who have approached me have never been intimate with a man before, and because of this, some of them have never learned how to properly clean the areas required for said intimacy; I’ve taught several how to manually control the muscles in that area to allow for a pleasurable entry; and I’ve also taught a few how to kiss—yes, it can be relearned/taught if you’re patient enough.
I would invent a device that would remove hate from the hearts of those infected with it.
I would make sure to tell those I love how much I love them and spend my last 365 days showing it.
This is not meant in the least to sound cocky, but sometimes I feel like a superhero when I use my empath skills to help others heal.
The only people who fail are those that never try.
I would outlaw hate. Seems super vague, but I think society’s view of “Freedom of Speech” has been skewed to mean you can get away with unacceptable and cringe behavior.
We are not born with hate, it is taught.
I would wish for the dissolving of organized religion; the constructs of it would just fade from existence and history.
I did that already. I was tired of working for a boss, so I became my own.
Currently writing one — it’s a speculative fiction series based loosely on the Promethean myth.
A teleportation device.
Pay off debt and buy an estate (no mortgage). I say estate because I would want it to have a secondary house and/or in-law suite to accommodate my mother-in-law or my mother.
Even though I’d have to endure the cold, several cities ranging from NYC to Amsterdam, Paris to Prague, London to Lisboa.
Peace, Health, and Fortune
Depends on the memoir content, I suppose.
If it were related to my sexual awakening and this endeavor, I think I would call it: “Can I Touch It?”
LOL
Because I love to cook, I wish my dishes were magically clean once I was finished with them.
You’ve probably already guessed it, but a bookstore.
And maybe Whole Foods.
I love to travel and there is a huge bucket list of destinations that I am dying to visit. I have visited 21 countries and 29 of the 50 states (30 if you include District of Columbia). I love culture and language and meeting new people and seeing their customs and traditions. I love history, too, and a lot of my bucket list of destinations includes places richly steeped in history and culture.
Although I am not squeamish, I am not a huge fan of blood in mass quantities; I could never be a doctor/surgeon.
This answer will probably be echoed throughout this entire interview, if I am being honest:
If money wasn’t an issue, I’d be completely focused on my writing and everything that is attached to that creative process.
1 Corinthians 16:14
“Let all you do be done in love.”
It means if your decision to do something is based out of any reaction other than love—like anger, jealousy, spite, greed, etc.—than it’s the wrong response. Choose the one that comes from a place of love.
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. Something about the lights glistening in the snow that always seemed magical when I was growing up. Of course, living in Florida has definitely put a damper on my Christmas spirit a bit, but not having to deal with extreme cold weather is a good trade-off.
Autumn, a bit ironic now that I live in Florida, I know. But I can always travel to view the Fall Foliage and then come home to palm trees.
It should be no surprise, but my favorite board game (where there’s an actual board) is Scrabble.
As far as other games: Phase 10, Cards Against Humanity, Cribbage, What Do You Meme?, Boggle, and more…
A simmering spaghetti sauce or chili, lavendar, rosemary, woody scents, bergamot, citrus, roses, lilac, apple orchards, autumn leaves, the salt air.
Several things — food, friends, family, my furbabies, a good book, and the list goes on.
I try to find joy in everything.
I’ve been told my eyes are really powerful—they tend to draw people in and give them a sense of safety, or even inflame their passion and lust. I am very passionate, and I got the nickname Daddy at a young age because I’ve always looked out for and protected others, often trying to give a voice to those who feel they have no voice, or even just taking the time to check in on others so they know they are not alone and have someone in their corner.
Honestly, social media—but not in the way that you might think. I have to spend more time on it than I’d like for business and marketing to get more leads and followers for all my endeavors.
I honestly would hire someone if I could to handle a lot (but not all) of my accounts.
More things in this world make me smile than the other way around.
My husband is a huge source of my smiles—I am extremely blessed to have a partner who communicates with honesty and integrity and grace. He always cheers me up when I am down, whether it be with a hug, a kiss, or just by putting a comedy special on the TV to make me laugh.
My two mini schnauzers, Madeleine (mom) and Lucas (son), often make me smile, especially the youngest, who is a big cuddle monster, delusional that he is actually also a human. If he were human, you could definitely classify him as a piggy cub—he loves pits and feet.
The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts — it’s a testament to the fact that disruptions and chaos and trials and hurdles and every bit of brokenness along the way to being where we are today are the exact reason why, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.
I always get writing or business ideas in the shower—it’s where I do my best thinking, under the water.
Read books and work on writing.
Ooh, that’s a good question.
I guess you could say that I am an ambivert, a balance of introvert and extrovert.
I am very social when I am out and about and have no issue striking up a conversation with a complete stranger (I was always like this, if I am honest, but over two decades as a bartender really honed this ability).
However, I can also be introverted, especially when focused on work or a project, I tend to pull into myself, the world seemingly dissolving around me, with writing being the thing that can make me forget about the world entire while submerged in the story that I am working on.
A hug. My husband knows this well, and it’s usually his first move to try to brighten my day if I seem a bit downtrodden.
A shower or a walk in the woods, especially if there is a body of water close by. There’s something recharging about either that is unmatched.
Definitely prefer to cook — but there are certain cuisines that I don’t typically cook that convince me to go out to restaurants (pizza, seafood, and others).
It depends on where I get it.
If it’s from Starbucks, I get a Quad Venti Mocha (typically Caramel or Peppermint) with whipped cream —OR— a Triple Grande Caramel Macchiato. I don’t usually add anything to those.
If I make espresso at home, however, I add two sugars and steamed milk or flavored creamer.
I look for commonalities. People who share interests and hobbies. People who live their lives similarly in how they view the world and treat others.
I’m very cautious of people who come into your life and cause chaos versus peace, and typically steer clear of negative people.
No means no. Period.
DEFINITELY an optimist. I am always trying to find the positive side, even if at the moment I am drowning in the negative side.
I am an empath. *shrug*
In the shower. In the car. Anytime I can.
I was in various choirs throughout high school: Show Choir, Jazz Choir, A Capella Choir. In college, I was in Men’s Glee Club my freshman year before moving up to the lead choir for the remaining time.
Depends. Where am I traveling? If it’s a domestic flight and I have no checked bags, probably 45-60 minutes before boarding, depending on the airport.
International flight? Probably 2 hours before.
Brush my teeth, strip naked, and climb into bed. I sometimes read, do Duolingo, or play Phase 10 on my phone.
Probably on the dance floor.
Who the hell doesn’t wash their legs? That just seems like a huge portion of one’s body to forget.
Salmon—it made my cheeks and lips puff up when I was younger…
Although, I did accidentally eat mislabeled salmon about a decade ago and it didn’t make me swell up, so either I am not allergic anymore, or the amount wasn’t large enough to cause a reaction, but I was never one to test my luck.
I am also allergic to bees and wasps—severe swelling at the sting site. I haven’t gotten stung by a bee or wasp since I was 15, though, and hoping that doesn’t change.
I know it’s going to sound weird, but I cry nearly every day—it’s cathartic and part of my meditation.
Typically full with a mixture of meal prep items and leftovers. It’s pretty clean and organized.
I am a good mix of both.
I like to have a plan, but I am fine with being spontaneous—it’s like planning a road trip and deciding to take different routes and still arriving at the same destination.
When I worked at Swinging Richards, I was working behind the front bar one night and RuPaul walked in with a companion. It was early and rather dead, so I went to the table to take their order:
Me: “Could I get either of you something to drink?”
Ru: “Oh, I don’t drink, doll. No alcohol for me, thanks.”
Me: “I can bring you a water or soda…”
Ru (flirtingly): “Honey, you can piss in a glass and I’ll drink that… mmMmMm.”
I come from a family of bus drivers—they taught me to drive cautiously and defensively.
Joan of Arc is my 14th Great Grand Aunt — I am directly descended from Joan’s brother, Jacquemin, on my paternal grandmother’s side.
If that wasn’t strange enough, I was born 550 years from the day exactly that Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.
I read a fair amount — though I haven’t tracked all of the books I’ve read thus far inn my life with this account, you can keep up with what I am currently reading by following my CURRENTLY READING shelf on Goodreads.
Though I have recently gone through several episodes over several days/weeks of other shows, my husband and I just recently binge watched Stranger Things. Such a GREAT show—can’t wait for the next season to come out.
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Maybe one of the actors above? *shrug*
Hmm. Hermione Granger. I was always a bookworm, and looking out for my friends.
My first trip to Europe. It was also my first major trip with my husband—before he was my husband—and was a huge catalyst in my decision to propose to him.
The initial purpose of the trip was to attend World Pride 2017 in Madrid, Spain, but we flew into Paris a few days before to spend my husband’s birthday there—and so that he could show me the country of my heritage while we were across the pond.
Without realized it when we first booked, we happened to land in Paris during Paris Pride. and instead of standing and watching the parade, we were pulled into the parade by a few people and ended up walking most of the parade route. It was an unforgettable experience.
After Paris, we flew to Barcelona for 2 days and one night, where I had some of the best paella I’ve ever had in this little restaurant off Las Ramblas. I also drank from the fountain, which has a plaque on it saying that all who take a drink from the fountain are destined to return to the city. Though I haven’t yet, I definitely want to return and spend some more time there exploring the city, hopefully getting a chance to tour the inside of La Sagrada Familia Basilica next time around.
We took a train from Barcelona to Madrid a day before World Pride started; our Airbnb was located near La Puerta de Atocha, the city’s main railway station, and only a stop away from Chueca, the city’s notable gay neighborhoof.
The World Pride Festivities were epic, and definitely an unforgettable experience. Before the trip, we had talks about keeping an open mind—European men definitely had a more open and fluid outlook on relationships and sex—and although we didn’t have an open relationship while we were there, we opened our relationship not too shortly after we got engaged a little over a month later.
After World Pride festivities completed, we (my hubby and two of our friends) took a bus to Porto, Portugal, spending two days and one night there before renting a car and driving all over Portugal—we visited Nazaré, Fatima (site of the miracle), Coimbra, and Obidos (where our friend Javier had arranged a stay at a resort owned by one of his clients, completely free of charge)—before ending the Portugal leg of our trip in Lisboa.
From Lisboa, we flew back to Paris for another day and night before returning home. The whole trip was magical from start to finish, and although I’ve had some amazing trips since—Brazil in 2018 & 2019, Tomorrowland in 2019 (this trip is actually an extremely close second in the running)—that first European trip solidified my feelings for my husband in a way that neither one of us expected.
I had several things that I enjoyed doing…
A few things, actually:
Love is not something you should have to win like a prize. If it’s not given without conditions, it’s not love, it’s manipulation.
I spent 14 years trying to prove my love to someone who never viewed it as enough, so withheld his emotions and affection from me. Never again.
I have also learned that the past cannot be changed, so it does nothing to dwell upon and rehash it. Move on and learn from mistakes—you are liable to make more mistakes while moving forward if you are staring in the rearview versus out of the windshield toward the road ahead.
Joan of Arc is my 14th Great Grand Aunt — I am directly descended from Joan’s brother, Jacquemin, on my paternal grandmother’s side.
If that wasn’t strange enough, I was born 550 years from the day exactly that Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.
I read a fair amount — though I haven’t tracked all of the books I’ve read thus far inn my life with this account, you can keep up with what I am currently reading by following my CURRENTLY READING shelf on Goodreads.
Though I have recently gone through several episodes over several days/weeks of other shows, my husband and I just recently binge watched Stranger Things. Such a GREAT show—can’t wait for the next season to come out.
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Maybe one of the actors above? *shrug*
Hmm. Hermione Granger. I was always a bookworm, and looking out for my friends.
While we are all human and run the gamut of emotions and make mistakes, I believe a good person is a person who chooses to do things out of love and kindness and respect versus out of other base emotions.
Kindness is free.
Absolutely. But not in the way portrayed in film and fairytales.
I think true connections can be felt in a glance, in a kiss, in a touch. There’s a spark that transcends and beckons to be explored more.
I also think love at first sight is not just romantic, and that friends can experience love at first sight as well.
This ties in well with the last question. I don’t believe in soulmates as portrayed in film or fairytale.
As someone who identifies as polyamorous, I believe that we have the opportunity to form strong bonds with multiple people throughout our lives, and one connection does not diminish the next or the previous. I am a firm believer that friends can also be soulmates as well. Soul brothers and sisters. Individuals with energies that harmonize so well with one another.
Yes and no.
I believe you can be oblivious to what is meant for you if you have your focus on the wrong things.
It’s much like The Secret… the energy you put out is the energy you get back, so if you are constantly surrounding yourself with the wrong energy, you’ll only attract more and might miss out on opportunities that would have been presented if you had surrounded yourself with positivity.
1 Corinthians 16:14
“Let all you do be done in love.”
It means if your decision to do something is based out of any reaction other than love—like anger, jealousy, spite, greed, etc.—than it’s the wrong response. Choose the one that comes from a place of love.
Honesty. Always. No exceptions.
There are ways to deliver truths that are better and kinder than others, however.
If you’re speaking about losing them because of death, then far too many to list here, unfortunately.
Being gay is a hard road to travel—and with it comes a lot of societal pushback of the world telling you that you are an abomination. That doesn’t digest well, and eventually some start to believe it. Most of the friends I have lost have been because of this, from suicide or substance abuse (aka slow suicide).
Yes. Everyone should be.
If you’re not already, watch the movie 7 Pounds with Will Smith.
Energy doesn’t disappear. It’s recycled. I think our spiritual energy can linger for a bit; I think other’s energies get trapped for a while. But eventually it is recycled and becomes something new.
Absolutely.
With respect and acknowledgement of their side so long as it’s not a side weighted heavy with hate and vitriol. I have no place in my life with that, so if THEY show me disrespect for not sharing their opinion, I usually cut them out of my life pretty quickly. Life’s too short to hang onto negative energy, and that included people.
I grew up in a haunted house in Maine. It was an old dairy farm haunted by the ghost of a dairy maid who was killed by the dairy farmer when she wanted to reveal their affair to the dairy farmer’s wife.
Her name was Sarah Jane Cunningham, and she was supposedly killed with an axe between the eyes and buried in the cellar of the main house.
I am afraid of malevolent spirits and have encountered a few.
My first trip to Europe. It was also my first major trip with my husband—before he was my husband—and was a huge catalyst in my decision to propose to him.
The initial purpose of the trip was to attend World Pride 2017 in Madrid, Spain, but we flew into Paris a few days before to spend my husband’s birthday there—and so that he could show me the country of my heritage while we were across the pond.
Without realized it when we first booked, we happened to land in Paris during Paris Pride. and instead of standing and watching the parade, we were pulled into the parade by a few people and ended up walking most of the parade route. It was an unforgettable experience.
After Paris, we flew to Barcelona for 2 days and one night, where I had some of the best paella I’ve ever had in this little restaurant off Las Ramblas. I also drank from the fountain, which has a plaque on it saying that all who take a drink from the fountain are destined to return to the city. Though I haven’t yet, I definitely want to return and spend some more time there exploring the city, hopefully getting a chance to tour the inside of La Sagrada Familia Basilica next time around.
We took a train from Barcelona to Madrid a day before World Pride started; our Airbnb was located near La Puerta de Atocha, the city’s main railway station, and only a stop away from Chueca, the city’s notable gay neighborhoof.
The World Pride Festivities were epic, and definitely an unforgettable experience. Before the trip, we had talks about keeping an open mind—European men definitely had a more open and fluid outlook on relationships and sex—and although we didn’t have an open relationship while we were there, we opened our relationship not too shortly after we got engaged a little over a month later.
After World Pride festivities completed, we (my hubby and two of our friends) took a bus to Porto, Portugal, spending two days and one night there before renting a car and driving all over Portugal—we visited Nazaré, Fatima (site of the miracle), Coimbra, and Obidos (where our friend Javier had arranged a stay at a resort owned by one of his clients, completely free of charge)—before ending the Portugal leg of our trip in Lisboa.
From Lisboa, we flew back to Paris for another day and night before returning home. The whole trip was magical from start to finish, and although I’ve had some amazing trips since—Brazil in 2018 & 2019, Tomorrowland in 2019 (this trip is actually an extremely close second in the running)—that first European trip solidified my feelings for my husband in a way that neither one of us expected.
If by this question you mean escorting, then the reason is for the money; as selfish as that sounds, it was the initial reason I started doing this and justified putting a potential strain on my relationship.
Since I started doing it about 10 months ago, I have received a lot fulfillment helping others because it’s not just about what most think it is. There are so many facets to the industry that people taint by grouping it into one since tabooed aspect.
I am inspired by any individual who has gone through any sort of trauma and has taken the necessary steps on the to healing. By any individual who realizes that we are not the sum of our mistakes, but rather the result of the lessons learned from them.
In 2014, encouraged by a friend and fellow author, I decided to turn my reading and writing blog into a publishing company, and I put out a submission call for authors to submit their short stories.
The anthology, titled Twice Upon A Time, was a collection of Fairytale, Folklore, and Mythology retellings and re-imaginings.
An empire and a legacy… I hope.
Finances.
I think this question has an obvious answer: writing, of course.
But I also wish that I had the time to spend more quality time with my husband and our friends.
Appointments—and the need for money in order to cover bills—often has me away from home quite a bit, unfortunately. And the lack of money has prevented us from certain opportunities to do stuff with friends as well.
Well, up until the end of last year, it was the desire to start writing again, but in November 2023, I ended my almost 8 year hiatus and re-launched my website and started plotting out the series that I am currently working on.
When I was around 7, I told my mom that I wanted to be a writer.
As I went through schooling, I was told by various people that I should pursue a career that would make me more money, so I started telling everyone that I wanted to be a lawyer.
When I spoke with my cousin, who is a lawyer, and told her I wanted to become a lawyer as well, she told me that I should consider pursuing my passion.
I decided to revert to my statement I told my mom when I was 7 and become a writer.
Perhaps too many to name — I really want to visit Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Czechia, Croatia, Turkey, & Greece, but I also want to go visit more of France beyond Paris (the Loire Valley; Normandy—especially Tourouvre, where my family hails from; and the French Riviera).
I would also love to see Peru, Argentina, and Patagonia.
I had several things that I enjoyed doing…
A few things, actually:
Love is not something you should have to win like a prize. If it’s not given without conditions, it’s not love, it’s manipulation.
I spent 14 years trying to prove my love to someone who never viewed it as enough, so withheld his emotions and affection from me. Never again.
I have also learned that the past cannot be changed, so it does nothing to dwell upon and rehash it. Move on and learn from mistakes—you are liable to make more mistakes while moving forward if you are staring in the rearview versus out of the windshield toward the road ahead.
My husband and I spend a great deal of time with his family, but unfortunately, due to the distance, I don’t see my family that much.
We do have a family group of friends here in Tampa and even a small family unit of friends in Atlanta, where we relocated from, that we spend a good amount of time with.
I do have a pretty large family as it is, especially on my father’s side.
If anything, I just wish my family were closer geographically, but not enough to suffer the cold of Maine to be near them.
Huge mama’s boy here—definitely her.
I have, actually.
Confer with the 1st Question of the RANDOM tab.
My sister stopped talking with me right before my wedding in 2020—I made a post that I was incredibly sad that none of my family could make it to my wedding, and she took personal offense to it and blocked me everywhere.
Her loss. But I do wish she would show a bit more maturity, especially since she’s the older one.
I answered this in a previous question, but my cousin told me to pursue my passion versus chasing a career solely on the prospect of it making me money.
This endeavor. LOL
Though some maybe not so surprised.
I confide in my mother a lot, but I don’t tell her everything.
My “nephew” (my oldest stepsister’s son, who is technically not my stepsister by law since our parents split almost 22 years ago) probably knows the most of my life currently because he turned to me for help when he was coming out to his parents and we’ve since grown close.
I’ve unfortunately learned the hard way that sharing blood with someone does not give them an unspoken presence in your life. I feel the family is extremely important, but you’re not obligated to allow them in your life if they are not there out of kindness and respect.
My maternal grandfather bullied the entire family throughout my life, and I was often the recipient of a lot of his taunts. He and I have never gotten along; while I will always initially respect my elders, I also believe that respect should also ALWAYS be earned. And my grandfather had respect for no one.
Friends are chosen family, those with whom you share bonds that are most time stronger than blood.
Many times. But I am also polyamorous. I love deeply and give a lot of myself to others. I’ve experienced what love at its core is from many different people. I’ve also experienced untrue, conditional love and at the time wasn’t the wiser.
I now know how to spot the difference.
Inability to communicate with honesty, love, respect, and grace.
If someone is unable to have a mature conversation about feelings, it’s a red flag.
Someone who is against me: meaning we don’t share the same political beliefs, world beliefs, spiritual beliefs; I’d find it difficult to share space with someone who doesn’t have the same energy/vibes.
Someone who is mean to others is a HUGE dealbreaker.
If you’re speaking about losing them because of death, then far too many to list here, unfortunately.
Being gay is a hard road to travel—and with it comes a lot of societal pushback of the world telling you that you are an abomination. That doesn’t digest well, and eventually some start to believe it. Most of the friends I have lost have been because of this, from suicide or substance abuse (aka slow suicide).
Food. I love cooking. And I am pretty affectionate in general.
My hubby, of course.
I have already chosen to make less money doing something that brings me joy—working for myself—than suffering the pitfalls of corporate America.
Teleportation is top on that list, so the only thing that would need to change is the invention of the technology to do so.
I haven’t seen my mom since Thanksgiving of 2019 due to the lack of funds for plane tickets, and the amount of time it takes to get to Maine to visit her would seriously hurt my finances, so I have held off.
The ability to teleport to her in an instant would allow me to check in with her as though she lived next door—holidays, family dinners, a game night, all things I miss being able to do with my mom.
The ability to do that with many friends I haven’t seen in quite some time would be awesome.
Well, I have actually taught before.
During my senior year of high school, my math teacher had to have eye surgery and was out of commission for two weeks; I was on her Championship Math Team, and I had a free period at the same time as her Calculus I class, so she asked me if I could teach it so that her students didn’t fall behind.
While it was rewarding, I realized then that I couldn’t be a teacher—at least not in the traditional sense. It did inspire me to start 1-on-1 tutoring during that free period, so I was able to make some extra cash.
These days, the only teaching I do comes with this endeavor. Some of the clients who have approached me have never been intimate with a man before, and because of this, some of them have never learned how to properly clean the areas required for said intimacy; I’ve taught several how to manually control the muscles in that area to allow for a pleasurable entry; and I’ve also taught a few how to kiss—yes, it can be relearned/taught if you’re patient enough.
I would invent a device that would remove hate from the hearts of those infected with it.
I would make sure to tell those I love how much I love them and spend my last 365 days showing it.
This is not meant in the least to sound cocky, but sometimes I feel like a superhero when I use my empath skills to help others heal.
The only people who fail are those that never try.
I would outlaw hate. Seems super vague, but I think society’s view of “Freedom of Speech” has been skewed to mean you can get away with unacceptable and cringe behavior.
We are not born with hate, it is taught.
I would wish for the dissolving of organized religion; the constructs of it would just fade from existence and history.
I did that already. I was tired of working for a boss, so I became my own.
Currently writing one — it’s a speculative fiction series based loosely on the Promethean myth.
A teleportation device.
Pay off debt and buy an estate (no mortgage). I say estate because I would want it to have a secondary house and/or in-law suite to accommodate my mother-in-law or my mother.
Even though I’d have to endure the cold, several cities ranging from NYC to Amsterdam, Paris to Prague, London to Lisboa.
Peace, Health, and Fortune
Depends on the memoir content, I suppose.
If it were related to my sexual awakening and this endeavor, I think I would call it: “Can I Touch It?”
LOL
Because I love to cook, I wish my dishes were magically clean once I was finished with them.
You’ve probably already guessed it, but a bookstore.
And maybe Whole Foods.
I love to travel and there is a huge bucket list of destinations that I am dying to visit. I have visited 21 countries and 29 of the 50 states (30 if you include District of Columbia). I love culture and language and meeting new people and seeing their customs and traditions. I love history, too, and a lot of my bucket list of destinations includes places richly steeped in history and culture.
Although I am not squeamish, I am not a huge fan of blood in mass quantities; I could never be a doctor/surgeon.
This answer will probably be echoed throughout this entire interview, if I am being honest:
If money wasn’t an issue, I’d be completely focused on my writing and everything that is attached to that creative process.
1 Corinthians 16:14
“Let all you do be done in love.”
It means if your decision to do something is based out of any reaction other than love—like anger, jealousy, spite, greed, etc.—than it’s the wrong response. Choose the one that comes from a place of love.
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. Something about the lights glistening in the snow that always seemed magical when I was growing up. Of course, living in Florida has definitely put a damper on my Christmas spirit a bit, but not having to deal with extreme cold weather is a good trade-off.
Autumn, a bit ironic now that I live in Florida, I know. But I can always travel to view the Fall Foliage and then come home to palm trees.
It should be no surprise, but my favorite board game (where there’s an actual board) is Scrabble.
As far as other games: Phase 10, Cards Against Humanity, Cribbage, What Do You Meme?, Boggle, and more…
A simmering spaghetti sauce or chili, lavendar, rosemary, woody scents, bergamot, citrus, roses, lilac, apple orchards, autumn leaves, the salt air.
Several things — food, friends, family, my furbabies, a good book, and the list goes on.
I try to find joy in everything.
I’ve been told my eyes are really powerful—they tend to draw people in and give them a sense of safety, or even inflame their passion and lust. I am very passionate, and I got the nickname Daddy at a young age because I’ve always looked out for and protected others, often trying to give a voice to those who feel they have no voice, or even just taking the time to check in on others so they know they are not alone and have someone in their corner.
Honestly, social media—but not in the way that you might think. I have to spend more time on it than I’d like for business and marketing to get more leads and followers for all my endeavors.
I honestly would hire someone if I could to handle a lot (but not all) of my accounts.
More things in this world make me smile than the other way around.
My husband is a huge source of my smiles—I am extremely blessed to have a partner who communicates with honesty and integrity and grace. He always cheers me up when I am down, whether it be with a hug, a kiss, or just by putting a comedy special on the TV to make me laugh.
My two mini schnauzers, Madeleine (mom) and Lucas (son), often make me smile, especially the youngest, who is a big cuddle monster, delusional that he is actually also a human. If he were human, you could definitely classify him as a piggy cub—he loves pits and feet.
The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts — it’s a testament to the fact that disruptions and chaos and trials and hurdles and every bit of brokenness along the way to being where we are today are the exact reason why, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.
I always get writing or business ideas in the shower—it’s where I do my best thinking, under the water.
Read books and work on writing.
Ooh, that’s a good question.
I guess you could say that I am an ambivert, a balance of introvert and extrovert.
I am very social when I am out and about and have no issue striking up a conversation with a complete stranger (I was always like this, if I am honest, but over two decades as a bartender really honed this ability).
However, I can also be introverted, especially when focused on work or a project, I tend to pull into myself, the world seemingly dissolving around me, with writing being the thing that can make me forget about the world entire while submerged in the story that I am working on.
A hug. My husband knows this well, and it’s usually his first move to try to brighten my day if I seem a bit downtrodden.
A shower or a walk in the woods, especially if there is a body of water close by. There’s something recharging about either that is unmatched.
Definitely prefer to cook — but there are certain cuisines that I don’t typically cook that convince me to go out to restaurants (pizza, seafood, and others).
It depends on where I get it.
If it’s from Starbucks, I get a Quad Venti Mocha (typically Caramel or Peppermint) with whipped cream —OR— a Triple Grande Caramel Macchiato. I don’t usually add anything to those.
If I make espresso at home, however, I add two sugars and steamed milk or flavored creamer.
I look for commonalities. People who share interests and hobbies. People who live their lives similarly in how they view the world and treat others.
I’m very cautious of people who come into your life and cause chaos versus peace, and typically steer clear of negative people.
No means no. Period.
DEFINITELY an optimist. I am always trying to find the positive side, even if at the moment I am drowning in the negative side.
I am an empath. *shrug*
In the shower. In the car. Anytime I can.
I was in various choirs throughout high school: Show Choir, Jazz Choir, A Capella Choir. In college, I was in Men’s Glee Club my freshman year before moving up to the lead choir for the remaining time.
Depends. Where am I traveling? If it’s a domestic flight and I have no checked bags, probably 45-60 minutes before boarding, depending on the airport.
International flight? Probably 2 hours before.
Brush my teeth, strip naked, and climb into bed. I sometimes read, do Duolingo, or play Phase 10 on my phone.
Probably on the dance floor.
Who the hell doesn’t wash their legs? That just seems like a huge portion of one’s body to forget.
Salmon—it made my cheeks and lips puff up when I was younger…
Although, I did accidentally eat mislabeled salmon about a decade ago and it didn’t make me swell up, so either I am not allergic anymore, or the amount wasn’t large enough to cause a reaction, but I was never one to test my luck.
I am also allergic to bees and wasps—severe swelling at the sting site. I haven’t gotten stung by a bee or wasp since I was 15, though, and hoping that doesn’t change.
I know it’s going to sound weird, but I cry nearly every day—it’s cathartic and part of my meditation.
Typically full with a mixture of meal prep items and leftovers. It’s pretty clean and organized.
I am a good mix of both.
I like to have a plan, but I am fine with being spontaneous—it’s like planning a road trip and deciding to take different routes and still arriving at the same destination.
When I worked at Swinging Richards, I was working behind the front bar one night and RuPaul walked in with a companion. It was early and rather dead, so I went to the table to take their order:
Me: “Could I get either of you something to drink?”
Ru: “Oh, I don’t drink, doll. No alcohol for me, thanks.”
Me: “I can bring you a water or soda…”
Ru (flirtingly): “Honey, you can piss in a glass and I’ll drink that… mmMmMm.”
I come from a family of bus drivers—they taught me to drive cautiously and defensively.
Joan of Arc is my 14th Great Grand Aunt — I am directly descended from Joan’s brother, Jacquemin, on my paternal grandmother’s side.
If that wasn’t strange enough, I was born 550 years from the day exactly that Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.
I read a fair amount — though I haven’t tracked all of the books I’ve read thus far inn my life with this account, you can keep up with what I am currently reading by following my CURRENTLY READING shelf on Goodreads.
Though I have recently gone through several episodes over several days/weeks of other shows, my husband and I just recently binge watched Stranger Things. Such a GREAT show—can’t wait for the next season to come out.
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Maybe one of the actors above? *shrug*
Hmm. Hermione Granger. I was always a bookworm, and looking out for my friends.
